The Funny Side of Faith

The Funny side of Faith

Some people imagine that Christians are dull and miserable, plodding through life weighed down by self-imposed restrictions and with an inability to have fun. In my experience nothing could be further from the truth. I have quite a large collection of humourous articles and anecdotes on Christian life and will post some in here when I have time to go through them. I would also be happy to post any others that you send me.

The New Orleans Lawyer

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply: "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to it's origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: "Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property arena, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, who had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. I hope that you are satisfied."

"Now, may we have our Title?"

Christian Puppies

A Baptist couple decided that they wanted to get a dog.

As they are walking down the street in town, they notice a sign in the pet shop advertising "Christian Puppies." Their interest piqued, they go inside.

"How do you know they're Christian puppies?" they ask the store owner.

"Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog immediately runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the pet store owner says, "Find Psalm 23." Without hesitation, the dog starts flipping pages with its paw until he finds the correct page, and then stops.

Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase the dog and head-out for home.

That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, and have him run through his 23rd Psalm routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks: "Does he also know 'regular' commands?"

"Gee, we don't know. We didn't ask," replies the husband.

Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. Then he says, "Lie down." The dog lies down. "Roll over," says the husband. The dog obediently rolls over.

Very pleased with the dogs performance, he then says to the dog: "Heel." Immediately, the dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the husband's forehead and then bows his head in prayer.

"Oh look!" the wife exclaims. "He's Pentecostal!"

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